Domestic Violence

Everyone is entitled to a relationship that is healthy and safe. Sometimes relationships
between family members, or current and former spouses, partners, or significant others
become unsafe. The relationships can involve a pattern of abusive behaviors when one
person seeks to control the other. This behavior may include:

Name-calling and put-downs, threatening to harm themselves, their partner, or
someone else.
Limiting access to money, preventing a partner from getting or keeping a job, destroying
property, and/or ruining a partner’s credit.
Tracking a partner’s daily activities directly or through the use of technology like social
networks, email, or smartphones.
Hitting, pushing, kicking, choking, or using weapons or other objects that cause injury.
Threats or violence directed at children in the family, or directed at family pets.
Forcing or pressuring a partner into unwanted sexual acts or refusing to practice safe sex.
Threatening an immigrant with deportation.
Threatening to out an LGBT/Q person to family or friends.

These are examples of what is commonly referred to as domestic violence. Domestic
violence can happen to anyone, no matter who you are or where you come from. It can
have short and long-term impacts on a person’s physical and emotional health.

If domestic violence is a part of your life, you may blame yourself, feel confused, afraid,
angry, and/or trapped. These are normal responses. It is important for you to know that
this is not your fault. You are not responsible for your partner’s behavior. Abusing
someone is a choice that is never acceptable.

Massachusetts General Law, C.209-A (1978) Abuse Law

“You have the right to go to the superior, probate and family, district or Boston municipal court if you reside within the appropriate jurisdiction, and file a complaint requesting any of the following applicable orders:

an order restraining your attacker from abusing you;
an order directing your attacker to leave your household;
an order awarding you custody of a minor child;
an order directing your attacker to pay support for you or any minor child in your custody, if the attacker has a legal obligation to support them; and
an order directing your attacker to pay you for the losses suffered as a result of the abuse, including medical and moving expenses, loss of earnings or support, attorneys fees, and other out-of-pocket losses for injuries sustained.

For an emergency on weekends, holidays, or weeknights, you should contact the police, who will refer you to a justice of the superior, probate and family, district, or Boston municipal court departments.

You have the right to go to the appropriate district court or the Boston municipal court and seek a criminal complaint for threats, assault and battery, assault with a deadly weapon, assault with intent to kill, or other related offenses.

If you are in need of medical treatment, you have the right to request that the officer present drive you to the nearest hospital or otherwise assist you in obtaining medical treatment.

If you believe that police protection is needed for your physical safety, you have the right to request that the officer present remain at the scene until you and your children can leave or until your safety is otherwise insured.”

Symptoms of Abuse – Threats, Power Misuse & Control

Do any of the following symptoms fit your life?

Using Emotional Abuse

Putting the other person down
Making the other person feel bad about themselves
Calling the other person names
Making the other person think they are crazy
Playing mind games
Humiliating the other person
Making the other person feel guilty

Using Privileges

Treating the other person like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Acting like the master of the castle
Being the one who determines the roles

Using Economic Abuse

Preventing the other person from getting or keeping a job
Making the other person ask for money
Giving the other person an allowance
Taking the other person’s money
Not letting the other person know about or have access to family income

Using Coercion & Threats

Making or carrying out threats to do something to hurt the other person
Threatening to leave the other person, to commit suicide, report the other person to welfare
Making the other person drop charges
Making the other person do illegal things

Using Intimidation

Making the other person afraid by using looks, gestures, or actions
Smashing things
Abusing pets
Displaying weapons

Using Children

Making the other person feel guilty about the children
Using the children to relay messages
Using visitation to harass the other person
Threatening to take the children away

Using Isolation

Controlling what the other person does, who they see and talk to, what’s read, and where they go
Limiting their outside involvement
Using jealousy to justify actions

Minimizing, Denying, Blaming

Making light of the abuse and not taking the other person’s concerns about it seriously
Saying the abuse never happened
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
Saying the other person caused it

Does your partner:

Blame everyone else especially you, for his or her mistakes
Prevent you from seeing your family or friends?
Curse you, say mean things, mock you or humiliate you?
Force you to have sex or force you to engage in sex that makes you feel uncomfortable?
Restrain, hit, punch, slap, or kick you?
Intimidate or threaten you?
Ever prevent you from leaving the house, getting a job, or continuing your education?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. The Hudson Police Department can assist orders of protection and counseling.

Meeting Your Needs

If you need to speak to someone about domestic violence services and supports, you may contact the free and confidential 24-hour Safelink Hotline at (877) 785-2020. Multiple languages are available.

If you would like to connect with an advocate who can help you to understand what options are available to you or connect with others who share your experience, please reach out to a domestic violence program in your community.

If you have been forced or pressured into unwanted sexual activity and would like to speak with someone confidentially, please contact a sexual assault program in your community. You can find local programs in your community by entering your zip code at this website: http://www.janedoe.org/find_help/search. Domestic and sexual violence programs in the community offer free and confidential services.

If you are concerned about your children’s behavior at home or at school related to the impact of violence or stress in the home, please contact a child witness to violence program. If you have questions about a pending criminal matter involving violence against you, please contact the District Attorney’s victim-witness program.

If you are interested in knowing what public benefits may be available to you, please contact your regional Department of Transitional Assistance (DTA) office.

Safety Planning

Safety is critical if you are in or planning to leave an abusive relationship. Below are some
ideas that you can use to increase your safety. Some people choose to write them down,
but Safety Plans may need to change for different situations.

Considerations for Immediate Safety

Think about who you would call for help in an unsafe situation and tell them about what is
happening.

Memorize emergency numbers for the local police (such as 911 ), support persons, and crisis hotlines such as Safelink: (877) 785-2020.
Identify escape routes and places to go if you need to flee from an unsafe situation quickly. Consider which rooms in the house have multiple doors and exits. Avoid rooms that have weapons or items that can be used as weapons (such as the kitchen).
Talk with your children about what they should do if a violent incident occurs or if they are afraid.
Put together an emergency bag with money/bank documents, extra car keys, medicine, and important papers such as birth certificates, social security cards, immigration documents, or health insurance cards. Keep it somewhere safe and accessible, such as with a trusted friend.
Trust your instincts. If you think you are in immediate danger, it is important to get to a safe place as soon as you can.

Middlesex County Resources

Domestic Violence Programs

All services are free of charge.

Domestic Violence Services Network

(DVSN) (888) 399-6111 ■ dvsn.org ■ Concord

The Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program at Newton Wellesley Hospital

(617) 243-6521 ■ nwh.org ■ Newton

Journey to Safety

(781) 647-5327 ■ jfcsboston.org ■ Waltham

The Second Step

(617) 965-3999 ■ thesecondstep.org ■ Newtonville

MA Alliance of Portuguese Speakers

Lowell: (978) 970-1250 Cambridge: (617) 864-7600 ■ maps-inc.org ■ Cambridge, Dorchester, Lowell

Sexual Assault Programs

All services are free of charge.

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center (BARCC)

(800) 841-8371 ■ barcc.org ■ Boston

Center for Hope and Healing

(800) 542-5212 ■ centerforhopehealing.org ■ Lowell

Pathways for Change

(800) 870-5905 ■ centralmasspfc.org ■ Worcester

Child Witness to Violence Programs

Children’s Charter Trauma Clinic

(781) 894-4307 ■ www.key.org/childrencharter.asp ■ Waltham

The Guidance Center

(617) 354-2275 ■ guidancectr.org ■ Somerville

Victim Witness Assistance Program

Middlesex County District Attorney’s Office

(781) 897-8300 ■ middlesexda.com ■ Woburn

Not all programs serve every town in the county. Programs will help you determine if they can assist you. They will refer you to another program if needed.

Statewide Resources

Legal Resources

Massachusetts Legal Resource Finder

The Massachusetts Law Reform Institute is a statewide non-profit legal services organization. The Legal Resource Finder will direct you to legal aid services in your community.
www.massLRF.org

MassLegalHelp

Practical information regarding your legal rights.
www.masslegalhelp.org

Victim Rights Law Center (VRLC)

VRLC provides civil legal assistance to victims of rape and sexual assault.
www.victimrights.org ■ (617) 399-6720

State Agencies

Department of Children and Families (DCF, formerly DSS)

Hotline: (800) 792-5200 ■ www.mass.gov/dcf

Department of Revenue (DOR)

Child Support: (800) 332-2733 ■ Customer Service: (800) 392-6089 ■ www.mass.gov/dor

Department of Transitional Assistance

(877) 382-2363 ■ www.mass.gov/dta

Massachusetts Office for Victim Assistance

(617) 586-1340 ■ www.mass.gov/mova

Office of the Attorney General, Victim Compensation Division (VCD)

The Victim Compensation Division can provide financial assistance to eligible victims of violent crime for medical and dental care, mental health counseling, funeral and burial costs, crime scene clean-up services, and security measures.
(617) 727-2200 ext. 2160 ■ www.mass.gov/ago

24-Hour Hotlines

SafeLink – (877) 785-2020 & (877) 521-2601 (TTY)

The Massachusetts 24/7 statewide domestic violence hotline operated by Casa Myrna. All calls to SafeLink are free, confidential and anonymous. SafeLink hotline advocates are multilingual, and have access to a translation services in more than 30 languages.

Llamanos y hablemos – (800) 223-5001

Toll-free Spanish sexual assault helpline. Limited hours.

National Domestic Violence Hotline – (800) 799-7233 & (800) 787-3224 (TTY)

Help is available in more than 170 different languages through interpreter services.

Asian Task Force Against Domestic Violence – (617) 338-2355

www.atask.org

Saheli, Friendship for South Asian Women – (866) 472-4354

www.saheliboston.org

The Network/La Red – (617) 742-4911 & (617) 227-4911 (TTY)

The Network/La Red offers free services in English and Spanish for survivors of partner abuse in lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer and/or transgender (LGBQ/T), SM/kink and polyamorous communities. Limited Hours. www.TNLR.org

Hudson Police Department